thanks 2 you all , i am trying 2 stay possitive , some days i feel so alone , i tend 2 keep how im feeling 2 my self . it does help that i can put some of my feelings 2 paper . thanks again . i would like 2 no more about you all . john

Hello Joh, just a quick welcome from me, I am Barbara, 58 and married to Roy with 4 grown kids. I was diagnosed in July 2009, and about to try the anti-TNF treatment. As Doreen says, we are not here to judge, everyone has to do what they feel is right for them with this awful disease. Keep posting and you will find out loads of information me RA, so many people on hre have loads of experience and knowledge, so feel free to pick their brains

Hi John
My name is Mandy, and I was diagnosed with RA 5 years ago. I was living alone, after divorcing my husband of 30 years. I also ended up leaving my job (which I had loved) as I had become unreliable - and working with young people, the LAST thing should ever do, is let them down. By then I was already on anti-depressants. I can really relate with what you say about feeling you are better off alone. I felt that I could handle it all MY way, and let the world get on without me. I always made light of it when my children were around (now both in thier 30's), but there were many dark moments. Gradually, I began to feel better and better about the situation, myself, and rotten 'Arthur'. Life would never be what it was before, BUT I began to feel that there were things to compensate. I have an endless list of books that I had intended to read, but never made the time for. This list was reducing, but I find more to add to it. I also was passionate about sewing (no, I am not suggesting you take that up), but never had enough time to indulge myself. Now I have all the time in the world. OK it IS different. I used to be able to spend hours and hours (when I found them) sewing away. NOW, I can't manage more than an hour before having to rest. BUT now I have the time to go back for another hour.

I was now settling into a better pattern of life, and getting pleasure out of what I COULD do. As life opened out, I began to feel that I would actually like someone else in my life to share the smiles and laughs. Cutting what is already a long post short, I now have someone who knows I have RA, and it makes not a jot of difference to him. I laugh more in one day than I used to do - pre RA- in a month.

Life can be good again - Different, but good. Start with small achieveable things, and take pride that you have done it. My goodness! I even found that managing, and finishing the washing up could make me feel chuffed with myself.

Please keep posting on here, even if you feel you do nothing but moan. Many of us have been there, and are quite willing to listen.
May the sunshine today!